Do you give a damn about whether you’re disliked?
âCare about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.â ~ Lao Tzu
âTheir prisoner?â
What does one of historyâs greatest strategists mean by this?
As human beings, itâs in our nature to want to be accepted and liked. Remember when you were in school? How much did you want to be in some social circle? The âunpopularâ kids were always the cautionary tale â do this, and youâll be alone. Isolation is deeply wounding to the human heart and psyche.
As we age, the desire to be accepted and liked diminishes a bit. But some people still care far too much about what others think.
In turn, this worry can prevent you from living your life to its fullest potential. In the long run, excessively worrying about what others think can disturb your ability to feel at ease with yourself around other people.
So, why shouldnât you give the slightest damn about what other people think?
Here are ten great reasons:
1. Life is far too short
Yep, this oneâs numero uno for a good reason.
You have one life to life, and itâs not very long. Moreover, nobody can predict what will happen next. Control is an illusion.
Live your life without worrying about other peopleâs thoughts and opinions, and you will be much happier and fulfilled. Provided your actions donât impede on others right to happiness, do whatever you want and be whoever you want.
2. People donât think about you that much
Besides your loved ones, people donât think about you often!
Have you ever been sitting somewhere, your body tense, and your breathing shallow because you believe people’s eyes are on you? Theyâre probably not. (If they are, itâs super creepy. Get the heck out of there ASAP.)
Humans see the world through their ego. Our minds are so preoccupied with thoughts, worries, responsibilities, and our immediate environment to think much about most people, much less some stranger.
3. Peopleâs minds are always changing
The human brain is in a constant state of change. When we left high school, we (mostly) left the cliquish nature of judgment behind.
As such, we observe someone, form an opinion or two, and move onto something else. Should that person enter your immediate environment, youâll repeat the process.
Weâre in a state of flux. What others think about us (and vice-versa) is no exception.
4. Itâs not their business
Ever notice how much the âruling classâ tries to impede on your personal matters? Wants to tell you what to think, what to believe, and what to buy.
Itâs none of their damn business! Period, exclamation point.
Theyâre entitled to whatever ignorant opinion that their ignorant mind conceives, but youâre the only one who needs to approve your own choices.
5. They donât know whatâs best
We learn by making choices, taking responsibility, and living with the consequences. Not someone else.
Only you can possibly know whatâs best. The truth is that we should feel offended when someone uses the phrase âitâs what is best.â
How in the heck would they know?
6. Whatâs ârightâ for them is probably not right for you
Hereâs that whole ego thing, again. We all think differently and have different needs. Itâs nearly impossible to remove the bias from our thought processes unless weâre some yogi master.
Remember the term âbias frames,â because this is exactly what most people have on their face when telling you whatâs âright.â
Speaking of whichâŚ
7. It may be the worst thing for you
Weâd like to think that people have our best interests in heart and mind when giving us advice. Thereâs just one problem here: we donât know thatâs true.
Whenever you spend any limited resource (time, money, health), youâre sacrificing something else. In worst cases, this can be the worst thing for you.
8. You have to deal with the results
Itâs effortless to advise someone who doesnât have to live with the consequences of that advice. People will give you an endless number of âsuggestionsâ because thereâs no risk on their end.
Letâs use an advertisement from some widget manufactured somewhere.
Here are a few catch phrases ânew and improved,â âmore productivity,â âfaster, better, easier.â So, fork over your hard-earned money or charge your credit card!
Never mind that you pay for it, you have to use it, and you decide itâs worth (which quickly depreciates.) On their end, they count the money coming in.
9. You canât please everyone
People-pleasers may be among the most annoying folks in existence.
Thereâs a big difference, by the way, between those who try to accommodate others, people who do the occasional favor, and those who are always seeking attention and validation. A BIG difference.
Hereâs the inconvenient truth: we canât please everyone, nor should we try.
Also, thereâs no point in trying to please anyone if youâre not pleased with yourself!
So treat yourself right!
10. Trying to please can have the opposite effect
Itâs ironic that people who care too much about what others think end up being disliked.
Worrying too much about what others think of you is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Needing to be liked changes behavior; often, this change is for the worse. We end up becoming too submissive â and this isnât a trait that people respect, much less like or admire. So protect your own kind heart, and stop caring what others think!
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