Everyone adores a good love storyâŚand if they donât they should. Why are these love stories so treasured? Is it because we love drama and the bubbly feelings that love incites? A rhetorical question, of course, as to appreciate these movies requires such. Thereâs always that point in the plot where something happens that tests the connection between two people. Will they beat the odds and come together or will they bid each other farewell? (Itâs almost always the former, isnât it?
Give Hollywood this: they at least introduce a bit of conflict in the love story. Sure, some of the plot points are laughable at best but thatâs for another discussion. Perhaps even more laughable (delusional?) than Hollywoodâs scriptwriting is the script repeated by some other misguided people about love.
Romantic fairytales exist only in the movies. In reality, relationships can be difficult on a number of different levels. So why do people still tell lies about love â or, worse yet, believe them?
Weâre here to do a bit of myth-busting, love story style.
Here are 5 stories you should never listen to:
Love Lie #1: âThe OneâŚâ
Now, there may be one person youâve met that is your soulmate (here are the signs). But itâs disingenuous to pretend that having millions of people out there donât increase the odds of finding that one true love. If two people compliment and bring out the best in each other than that is a perfectly happy courtship. However, odds are that some envious third-party will chime in with âwell, he/she found his/her oneâŚwhen is it my turn?â In truth, there are plenty of viable options that, if discovered, would help to increase the odds of finding someone that fulfilled them.
In other words, true love is determined by compatibility, not exclusivity. There is no truth to the contrary.
Love Lie #2: âSincerity will win her/him overâŚâ
This is a love lie that is far too commonplace, especially in the âmen seeking womenâ arena. Men are prone to turn up the sincerity dial, as they believe that an exceptional ability to be sincere is valued when courting women. On a limited scale, this is true. Women love when men hold the door open, pick up the check and compliment their dress. Women donât love when men buy them jewelry on the first date, say âI love youâ after a week and cry at every sad movie. They also donât appreciate men without the ability to articulate their words without sounding like an uninhibited jerk.
The reason that unabashed sincerity doesnât bode well is two-fold: (1) it reeks of disingenuousness, and (2) it bypasses flirting, an important part of the courting process.
Love Lie #3: âThis initial spark means somethingâŚâ
Yeah, it means that two people just met. Who hasnât heard of the âhoneymoon phaseâ? Also, two people are almost always going to have different perspectives on one another’s attractiveness or lack thereof. In other words, that âinitial sparkâ means little else than some person is attractive in some way. It doesnât mean theyâre attracted to you or that there is any type of future.
The only real way to test the connection between two people is to court. In reality, attraction can be a dynamic thing; something that changes as two people begin to know each other.
But first, itâs probably best to go over and say âHello.â
Love Lie #4: âItâs only been a day/week/month, but weâre meant for each otherâŚâ
Do we really need to cover this? At this phase, there is no way that any rational conclusion can be made about the long-term viability of a relationship. We already know that people are complex beings⌠so what makes us think that we can know them in a day, a week, a month, or even a year?
Yes, we all want to love and be loved. Itâs a beautiful thing. But at the expense of exploring and uncovering more about someone else? Thatâs part of the fun. Why this intense desire to jump right to the finish line?
Explore the other person and savor the little things. There is no need to rush to judgment here, despite of our desire to settle. Even if the relationship doesnât continue to bear fruit, they had a presence in your life for a period of time.
Love Lie #5: âLife will be a dream, as long as weâre togetherâŚâ
The other person will probably make life seem more like a dream, and thatâs great. Truth is, this one is difficult to criticize â not because itâs true, but because our ideal mate will always make us contemplate whatâs possible.
It is true that anything is possible with two people that love and believe in each other. Weâre all innately attuned to the fact that life will have its turbulent moments. Weâre also aware that the other person makes these moments worth living and then some.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.