Romantic breakups are hurtful and confusing. Because of the pain, you may feel as if you will never be in love again. Lost love is just too painful. If you’re feeling like this right now, you are not alone. Many people have gone through something similar. As difficult as it is to believe, it is possible to love again. Here are some suggestions to help you love after a heartbreak.
How do you heal after a breakup?
It can take some time to heal after heartbreak. Here are some suggestions on what you can do to encourage healing after a break-up.
Talk with your friends or family
It’s important to talk to a trusted friend or family member. After a breakup, you will feel lonely. But you need to get stuff off your chest. Get together with a trusted friend or family member. Set a limit on how much you talk about your ex. Make it clear that you don’t want to share all the details about what happened, but you need someone who will listen to you. Having someone to talk to is a healthy way to heal.
Plan your future
Make plans. Make plans for the upcoming holidays or summer vacation. Is there a country you have always wanted to visit? Maybe now is the time to plan that trip. Set goals for yourself. What are the things you’ve always wanted to do, but put them off because you were too busy being in a relationship? Maybe you should join a book club or take a pottery class. How about taking a Jitsi class with your best friend? Try to remember who you were before the relationship. Be that person again and do those things you planned to do. You won’t regret it.
Write in a journal
A breakup is an emotional experience. Do some self-evaluation. Get in touch with your feelings. Try journaling to express your thoughts and feelings. Researchers say that writing helps people deal with personal grief. It allows you to better understand yourself and make sense of your feelings. Being able to go back and read your journal entries is helpful. You’ll be surprised how your feelings change and your outlook on life has improved over time.
Here are 11 ways to love again after a heartbreak
Try these behaviors to try to regain your footing after a lost love.
1 – Give yourself some time
After a breakup, don’t rush back into dating right away. Give yourself some time to get back into life again. Pay attention to signs when you are ready to date again. If you find yourself not thinking about the breakup that much, and you’re enjoying being out with friends, that’s a good sign you’re healing. Eventually, you’ll be able to think about dating again, but give yourself some space to truly heal.
2 – Take care of yourself
If you’ve had a breakup, take good care of yourself. Romantic breakups are emotionally draining. You may not feel you don’t want to get out of your bed in the morning, but it’s important to do it for your emotional health. Take care of yourself by eating well and getting some exercise. Don’t sit at home by yourself, spend time with others. At first, your heart won’t be into doing this, but over time you will begin to feel better. Eventually, your mood will improve, you’ll be more positive, and you’ll feel like yourself.
3 – Stay upbeat
After breaking up, it may be hard to feel positive about your life. But part of your healing is to stay upbeat even on your darkest days. Focus on all that is good in your life. Find ways to be grateful. Complaining and getting bitter will only make you feel worse. Adopting a positive mindset will help you feel better about your life and your future.
4 – Block their posts
If you’re an enthusiastic social media follower, fight the urge to see what your ex is doing. Seeing their posts won’t be helpful to your heart or mind. The best thing you can do is block their social media site, which means all of them. Studies show that constantly monitoring your ex after a breakup causes emotional distress. This type of social media stalking creates an unhealthy breakup with the other person. Blocking your ex may feel drastic, but you must heal and move on with your life. You can do it!
5 – Forgive
One way to be sure you will be able to love again is to forgive your ex-partner. Forgiving them doesn’t mean that everything that happened was okay, or that you forgot how painful the breakup is. It means you are letting go of it. You acknowledge that, like you, the other person is human. Both made mistakes of you, and you will not hold this over the other person’s head. Forgiveness allows you to experience both emotional and spiritual health.
6 – What can you learn?
You want to love again, that’s understandable, but what can you learn from your failed relationship? Do you realize that you tend to choose bad partners? Perhaps you’re looking to be rescued or to rescue others. Do you gravitate towards people who aren’t good for you? Trying to learn from a failed relationship takes real self-evaluation. It can be painful to admit your unhealthy habits related to a relationship. Don’t beat yourself up, but try to understand yourself better.
Notice some unhealthy tendencies in yourself and your relationships. It could be helpful to consider seeing a counselor to help you identify why you are prone to these bad choices.
7 – Consider what you want in a partner?
Use this time after a breakup to evaluate what happened in your relationship. What did you learn about yourself or the other person? Then take some time to consider what you want in a partner. Ask yourself some questions, such as…
- What character qualities are important to me? Kindness, loyalty, understanding?
- What about their attitude towards family, faith, and friends?
- What things would you like them to enjoy? Music? Art? Sports?
- Evaluate yourself and what things you want to grow or change. Do you want to grow in generosity, kindness, or helping others?
Evaluating what you want in a partner will guide you when you date again.
8 – Don’t carry relational baggage to your new relationship
When you do date, avoid talking about your lost love. You don’t want to carry your relationship baggage into a new relationship. Don’t gossip about them or discuss details of your relationship. This will make the other person uncomfortable and start your relationship off wrong. Start over and leave the past behind.
9 – Help others
Reach out and help others in your church, community, or neighborhood. An ancient proverb says, … those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. (Proverbs 11:25 NLT) turns out, this wise saying is true. Researchers say that being concerned for others by helping them will improve how you feel. It can make you feel happier about your life. Some ways to help others include:
- Volunteer at a school or hospital
- Buy someone lunch
- Get groceries for a needy family
- Spend time with an elderly neighbor
- Donate time at a homeless shelter
Sometimes the best way to love again is to get the focus off yourself and on to the people around you who are in need.
10 – Be realistic
It’s good to have a positive mindset as you consider dating again, but you must be realistic. If you expect that you’re going to find the love of your life right away, you may be disappointed and frustrated. Finding a good partner will take time. You may be alone for a while, but that’s okay. Enjoy being single and having the freedom to do things you can’t do if you’re in a relationship. Keep a realistic view of your future.
11 – There’s more to life
Even though you feel you’ll never love again, remember there is more to your life than having a relationship. As important as having that certain someone in your life, you can have a full, happy life without a relationship. You don’t need a relationship to validate your worth. It’s important to focus on other people and parts of your life. Spread some love to your friends and family.
Final thoughts on learning how to love again
You may feel you’ll never love again, but time can help heal a heart. Grieve. Remember, you aren’t alone. Many people have experienced heartbreak like this and they’ve made it through. You can, too! You can find meaning in your life as a single person. Whether you do the things you used to or help others, you can enjoy life again. When it’s time to date, consider what you want in a partner and be strategic about who you date. Be positive and stay focused on your future. There will be a time to love again, so don’t give up.
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