Maintaining a healthy relationship with a romantic partner requires many things, but a big ego is not one. It is one of the causes of relationship drama that could signify intense problems between you and your partner.
When one partner has a big ego, it can lead to a toxic situation. Excess self-importance in a relationship takes energy and causes stress. It’s emotionally draining to be in a heightened state of drama without thinking logically.
You’ll likely notice the egotism creeping in when someone feels threatened or during heated conflicts. If you can identify when it causes relationship drama, you can get the situation under control. You can apply strategies for improving your relationship by reeling in the ego.
Eleven Ways That Your Ego Causes Relationship Drama
If your partner has an inflated opinion of themselves, you know how it affects you daily. However, it’s worse if the person with a big ego is you because it’ll be harder for you to recognize the signs. If any of these situations are accurate for your relationship, it’s a sign of an imbalance of self-importance.
1. Communication Decreases When Someone’s Ego Gets in the Way
Being in a relationship requires that the partners communicate more than just greeting one another and saying goodbye. Opening up to your partner through intimate communication is essential to developing or maintaining a healthy relationship. If self-importance overshadows communication, it is a sure sign of unnecessary drama.
Sometimes the lack of communication comes from one of you refusing to listen to the other. It can also happen because you walk on eggshells around the other. When everything seems to be about one partner, the other might withdraw from the egotistical person.
If either of you keeps things to yourself or physically distances yourself from one other, it’s a sign that something is amiss. It shows that one of you is afraid to speak up because they know it could cause more conflict and drama.
2. One of You Has an Overwhelming Desire to be Right
Everyone wants to be right sometimes, but it shouldn’t be an overwhelming desire every time. Someone who always needs to be right pays little attention to their partner’s feelings. They only want to get their way and convince others to agree.
The self-important partner will hardly listen to the other person because they don’t want to hear another opinion. Their desire to be right will outweigh everything else, and they’ll likely remain defensive until the other partner gives in.
3. Someone Plays the Blame Game
An inflated opinion of themselves results in blaming others and circumstances for every misfortune or setback. People do this because it’s easier than admitting they played a role. It removes the burden of accountability, making the person feel in control.
However, blaming other people takes control away from the person. It prevents them from seeing the truth and understanding themselves, leaving them stuck in the same behavior patterns.
4. Narcissistic Tendencies
If you or your partner behave like the world revolves around you, it could indicate narcissistic tendencies. A narcissist doesn’t consider how other people feel, including their partner. They might manipulate others to go along with them and do what they want.
Some other signs of narcissism include talking about themselves constantly and bragging about how they’re better than others. They also don’t always read social cues because they focus on themselves.
Narcissism causes relationship drama because it makes the other partner feel like they can’t express themselves. They’ll feel like there’s no space for compromise, so they won’t even try after a while.
5. Lack of Apologizing When Necessary
Since egotistical people struggle to admit they’re wrong, they also have a hard time apologizing. They will even avoid saying sorry when there’s clear evidence that they were in the wrong and behaved inappropriately.
6. An Inflated Ego Seeks Retaliation
Someone with an inflated opinion of themselves will want to hurt those who wronged them. The person will think that hurting the other person will bring comfort, but it only creates more problems. Retaliation can take the form of name-calling or other insults.
7. Covering Up Mistakes
When an egotistical person makes a mistake, they cover them up so no one else can see. Even when they get caught, they’ll continue trying to cover things up and deny the truth. Sometimes the partner might cover up their feelings, but other times it’ll be more pressing matters.
8. Pride and Arrogance Will Overshadow the Good
If someone is self-centered and prideful, it can quickly cause relationship drama. It often builds slowly but becomes an issue that can destroy a relationship. Pride and arrogance occur when the egotistical partner thinks they are superior to their partner.
When one partner behaves like they’re superior, it creates an unhealthy imbalance in your relationship. It makes things condescending, straining your relationship until it becomes too much.
9. Your Ego Creates Jealousy
If you notice unreasonable jealousy within your relationship, it could be caused by an egotistic personality. Unreasonable is the keyword here because the feelings will be unfounded, overwhelming, and sometimes stem from a previous relationship.
Jealousy within a relationship can lead to controlling behavior, with one partner always wanting to know where the other is. They’ll demand all details, including who will be at a location and how long. Plus, they might want to know every password and read every text on their partner’s phone.
Jealously creates a negative situation and can destroy a relationship. The toxicity can quickly become too much, and the never-ending conflict is draining.
10. The Ego Creates Unhealthy Competition
While a bit of competition can be beneficial, highly competitive couples might have some problems. It should be fun competing with your partner, not getting angry or feeling belittled. No matter who takes it to the next level, it can cause unnecessary drama.
11. You Argue Over Little Things
Relationships are complicated, but you shouldn’t look to pick fights over every little thing. If minor issues set one of you off, it’s something to address. This situation shows that the ego is inflated, and it’ll cause constant irritation between the two of you.
The constant arguments and irritation will make everything get blown out of proportion. You might even notice that the egotistical partner throws tantrums when they don’t get what they want.
Seven Ways to Check an Inflated Ego
Now that you recognize the issue, how do you control your impulses?
1. Remember That No One Is Perfect
When you can remember that no one is perfect, it will change your approach to the relationship. It makes things equal, allowing both of you to grow and develop in the critical areas.
2. Replace Harsh Words
Anytime you think about saying something harsh, replace the first words you thought of. Use the time for a deep conversation instead, talking about the things that are upsetting to you. Be honest with your partner about what’s on your mind so you can come up with a plan and work through it together.
3. Compromise
When you’re in a relationship, both partners should have an equal say in how things are handled. Seek their opinion and don’t disregard their thoughts. Instead, use them to come up with a compromise that works for both of you.
4. Check That Ego and Apologize
When you’re wrong, don’t hesitate to apologize. Saying that you’re sorry can affect how things turn out and how your partner responds.
5. Remember Why You Were Drawn Together
Spending time reflecting and remembering why you wanted to be with your partner can help you check the issues in your relationship. This tip can help you focus on the things that matter most in your relationship.
6. Make Efforts to Communicate Better
When a big ego interferes with your relationship, focusing on better communication is essential. Make time to have discussions with your partner, and avoid judgment. Don’t interrupt them; make sure you’re focused and not distracted by other things.
Don’t hesitate to take the lead if your partner isn’t as open to communicating this way. Start by telling them the intimate details of your life that they don’t know yet. Work your way into discussing your current relationship problems, and they’ll be more likely to open up.
7. Stop Competing with Your Partner
When you’re in a relationship, the two of you equal. Stop trying to compete by earning more money or rising the career ladder before the other. It’s okay to challenge yourselves to improve, but you shouldn’t be competing against one another.
Final Thoughts on Ways Ego Causes Relationship Drama and Ways to Check It
A big ego has no place in a healthy relationship. It causes unnecessary drama and can ultimately destroy your relationship. If you related to any of the ways it causes relationship drama, make a positive plan for change.
Checking the ego and working to eliminate it can make all the difference. By making beneficial changes, you can save your relationship and remember why you fell for your partner in the first place.
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