10 Things Men Should Never Tell Their Pregnant Partner

“It is the most powerful creation to have life growing inside of you. There is no bigger gift.”

– Beyoncé Knowles

The 9 months that a woman is pregnant is an emotional Pandora’s Box. Elation, acceptance, fatigue, anticipation, sadness, and even depression often occur during pregnancy. Indeed, for many woman, pregnancy is a time of celebration; but, the three phases that make up pregnancy often bring about a number of challenges emotional and physical challenges.

As men, it is our job to be our utmost supportive and helpful during our woman’s pregnancy. First, it is essential that we are willing to understand what pregnancy entails. Second, we must use this knowledge to emotionally support our partner during a difficult time. Lastly, we need to watch the hell out…

Seriously.

Many a men have found themselves nearly castrated for saying or doing something perceptibly offensive during a woman’s pregnancy. We’re here to help with this. Don’t become castrated.

With that joyful note, here are 10 things that men should never tell their pregnant partner:

1. “You are getting big!”

Uh-huh…good luck with that, bro. This really shouldn’t have to be said: don’t comment on a woman’s body during pregnancy. Pregnancy involves a human being growing inside of an expandable womb – of course she is going to get bigger.

Just do yourself a favor and don’t say anything about it.

2. “You shouldn’t be exercising/standing up/doing anything.”

The woman is pregnant, she is not incapacitated. Your partner knows exactly what she should/shouldn’t be doing at any given time. Women have procreated for millions of years; having evolved a keen intuition concerning how/what her body is doing.

No need to advise her on this.

3. “Don’t eat (insert food here).”

This is nearly as bad as #1. Your partner is pregnant, so she needs to account for both her nutritional needs and those of the developing child. It’s perfectly normal – in fact, healthy – if she eats a bit more than she did pre-pregnancy.

Again, if you want to avoid being verbally castrated, stay away from anything involving her diet and/or food.

4. “I wish you could drink with me.”

Guess what? Your partner probably wishes she could have a cocktail or two, as well. But there’s this whole “birth defects from alcohol” thing that is preventing her from doing so. Most times, this is said with genuine intentions; we do miss enjoying the little things, like having an adult beverage, with our significant other. That said, stay away from saying this.

5. “I wish you could eat (insert food here).”

There are some foods (e.g. seafood, poultry) that women are best abstaining from while pregnant. The simple reason is that contracting food poisoning, although the risk is small, can be deadly to the developing child. She may or may not want these foods, but it’s best just to not mention them.

6. “Why is the house such a mess?”

It’s no secret that a woman’s energy is often depleted during pregnancy. It’s much, much easier to become fatigued or exhausted during pregnancy, as the body is undergoing drastic changes. This makes it more difficult to keep up with routine work both in and out of the home.

Instead, just help your partner pick up once in a while…she’ll appreciate that.

7. “Baby names? Again?”

It’s common for pregnant women to discuss baby names with their partner. Sometimes, the woman wants to discuss them quite often. There really isn’t an excuse for a man not engaging in this conversation.

For God’s sake man, she’s carrying around another human being 24/7 for 9 months…the least you can do is indulge her with some good baby names.

8. “I don’t want to shop for baby stuff.”

That’s too bad, bro, you’re going to be a dad. Get used to sharing some shopping responsibilities once in a while. We guarantee that she truly appreciates the efforts you’re making to lessening her burden during pregnancy.

If this doesn’t matter to you, then look at it this way: if you’re shopping for baby stuff, and you’ve been a good boy, maybe she’ll let you pick something out for yourself. Just sayin’.

9. “What’s taking so long?”

Ohhh, man…you’re asking for it. Hopefully, these words are never uttered from your mouth.

Can you imagine having a developing, moving child – often wreaking havoc on your body – with you, constantly, 24/7? Us men find it difficult to get moving when there’s a football game on T.V…so, we probably wouldn’t do too well carrying around another human being.

10. “You’re sleeping too much.”

This one is commonsensical. You probably don’t come close to uttering this phrase. You’re much too intelligent; understanding that a woman’s body needs to constantly recharge during pregnancy. You know that sleeping often during pregnancy is an overall health benefit for both her and the child…Right?