Sociopaths, in a nutshell, make every attempt to control your life. If youâve been in a relationship with a sociopath, chances are you often feel on-edge. In fact, you might not quite understand this (often subtle) feeling.
âI have never killed anyone, but I have certainly wanted to. I may have a disorder, but I am not crazy. In a world filled with gloomy, mediocre nothings populating a go-nowhere rat race, people are attracted to my exceptionalism like moths to a flame. This is my story.â – M.E. Thomas “Confessions of a Sociopath.”
Maybe you’ve experienced the feeling of being alone, being wrong, or afraid of making your partner angry. Again, these thoughts and feelings come and go; they are frustrating and enigmatic at the same time.
Having any relationship with a sociopath, no matter how “below the surface” any emotions may be, is a dangerous situation. Here’s an excerpt from a book written by the ex-wife of a diagnosed sociopath:
My breath caught. My chest tightened. Fear welled inside me. I swallowed, trying to coax moisture back into my mouth so that I could speak and conceal how scared I was of Paul in that moment and of what might happen in the future.
How are sociopaths able to maintain relationships? Through fear, manipulation, and demoralization.
Self-doubt is often a close cousin of low confidence. Thus, undermining your confidence is one of the ways that sociopaths are able to keep you trapped in their web of deceit.
So are there phrases sociopaths use to âclue you inâ on their real intentions?
Yes â and here are five such catchphrases:
 1. âYouâre the one/Weâre meant to be.â
At the beginning of a relationship, it is not uncommon for sociopaths (or narcissists) to “love bomb,” or relentlessly verbalize their âaffectionâ for you. In fact, this is not normal behavior. Even in the best-case scenario, the person is off-balance, e.g., a stalker, or âclinger.â In the worst case, well, theyâre manipulative control freaks.
â(People) who go âtoo fastâ (defined as whatever makes you uncomfortable), do not respect boundaries. One definition of âabuseâ is âthat which violates personal boundaries,â writes Dr. Steven Stosney.
2. âYouâre misunderstanding me.â
âGaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality,â writes Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, sociopaths that utilize gaslighting because âThey know confusion weakens people.â
Essentially, sociopaths use this phrase to (a) cause someone to question themselves, and (b) satisfy their insatiable need to feel right. They will often use gaslighting to recover from a situation that they believe diminishes (or threatens to diminish) their power.
3. âI hate drama/Youâre a drama queen.â
Few other phrases cause someone to doubt themselves more than being labeled a âdrama queen.â In reality, this is a phrase that sociopaths use to impart a sense of uncertainty.
The truth is that sociopaths love drama/ That’s because without it, they would not achieve their manipulative and self-serving plans. Think about it: drama is the sociopathâs primary source of ammunition.
Drama is the fuel to their fire. Time to put it out.
4. âYou need me.â
Sociopaths crave control; sensing or knowing that their victim has surrendered their personal will is their foremost desire.
Obviously, sociopaths don’t say this because they want a healthy relationship. What they want is to, again, create an influx of emotions that override rational thought. Remember the words control through manipulation. As a result, you will arm yourself to detect a possible sociopath.
Donât give in. The fact is you donât need them. It is essential to separate emotions from logical thinking when dealing with a sociopath.
5. âYouâre ignorant/stupid/uneducated.â
This final phrase is included for a couple of reasons. First, to reinforce the fact that sociopaths are capable of abusive behavior. Again, sociopaths have no inhibitions about hurting people emotionally, physically or psychologically.
However, if you combine this capacity for abuse with a sociopathâs sense of superiority, need for control, and ruthlessness in getting what they want. In the end, itâs a play on your emotions capable of spiraling into a dangerous situation.
By preparing mentally, you protect yourself against these self-serving creatures.
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