Narcissistic people are tricky to deal with because they are all into themselves. Whenever they are at fault for something, they try to lay the blame onto other people because,
- A) it hurts their egos to think that they were wrong and,
- B) Even if they know that they are wrong, narcissists want to avoid acknowledging it at all costs—even if they are unethically avoiding the truth.
Here are thirteen sneaky ways that narcissists shift blame to others around them
1 – Ignoring the Facts
A narcissist person might try to move fault to others by completely ignoring the part of the situation in which he/she is at fault. He might altogether refuse to acknowledge aspects of the situation where he did something wrong. For example, in conversation, he might adamantly refuse to talk about something and pretend that it did not come up. The person might even refuse to speak to you.
2 – Citing Religious Reasons
In a situation where there are highly religious people, a narcissistic person might use religion to shift fault onto another person. This is done by using twisted religious rhetoric to justify why someone else is at fault. For example, let’s say that something terrible happens, and it’s the fault of the narcissistic person. The narcissist might turn the failure on other people by saying, “This happened not because of what I did, but because you did something and God didn’t like it.”
3 – Playing Victim Card and Victim Blaming
To shift blame to others, a narcissist might attempt to play the victim card. For example, if the narcissistic person was wronged to some extent, he may over-emphasize that fact in a quest to get pity from others and shift blame onto someone else. He might try to make it seem that his being victimized overrides the fact that he is at fault.
4 – Overt Manipulation
Manipulation is one of the main tools that narcissistic people have in their arsenals. They know the emotional states and psyches of the people around them, which they use to sculpt the things that they say and do. Manipulation can take many forms.
One manipulation tactic is to act overly emotional and sad. For example, a narcissistic person might try to avoid being blamed by crying and acting vulnerable. She might try to accuse you of being a terrible person for not being sympathetic if you are wise to the tactic and refuse to succumb to it.
On the other hand, a narcissistic person might act angry and aggressive, hoping that you’ll forget all about putting the fault on them out of fear. They could yell around or physically abuse people.
The person could play on whatever insecurities you have about yourself and life. The gamut of manipulation tactics is endless.
5 – Adopting a My Way or the Highway Attitude
Narcissistic people like to talk over others and monopolize conversations. A narcissistic person who wants to accuse other of being at fault others might speak over other people—keeping them from getting their words in. Narcissistic people think that if they over talk and yell over people, it will get it into everyone’s heads that they are not the ones at fault.
6 – Gaslighting Others
Gaslighting is when you try to make someone think that they are crazy for having their beliefs, concerns, and thoughts. This behavior is a manipulation tactic in which one person works to make another person doubt himself or herself.
A narcissistic person can use gaslighting to the fault onto someone else. For example, someone might understand that the narcissistic person is in the wrong for a variety of different reasons.
The narcissistic person might combat this by saying, “Oh, you’re simply crazy. Your concerns about me being in the wrong are results of you being off-balanced!”
This behavior is emotional abuse, plain and simple!
7 – Telling Outright Lies
A narcissist could straight out lie about the situation and fabricate circumstances that were not there. He could accuse you of doing something that you never did. She could make up a part of the situation that never happened—all of this just to make it look like she is not at fault.
Lying is especially harmful because the sky is the limit when it comes to what someone can lie about. Lies can cause a lot of trouble. The problem is that when a narcissistic person lies, what can you do? What can you do if the person completely refuses to utter truthful words? If you are wise to this tactic, then you can easily avoid feeling that you are at fault. The real problem comes when other people believe the narcissistic person.
8 – Making Unfair and Untrue Accusations
Some narcissistic people like to shift blame by throwing out random accusations. For example, a narcissistic person might say things like: “You punched me,” “You abused me,” “You’re mentally ill,” “You never loved me,” “You’re stalking me,” and whatever other accusation they can think of.
The point of throwing out accusations is to take attention away from the narcissist’s faults. Narcissistic people do this so that the idea that someone else did something worse and is at fault for something is introduced into the conversation.
9 – Acting Dramatically
A narcissistic person might shift blame onto other people by acting overly dramatic and saying things aloud that makes it sound like others are to blame. If others are in the room, they might see the narcissist behaving dramatically and think that there is something terrible going on and that you are to blame.
10 – Bringing Up Old Situations
A common trick that narcissists do to avoid blame is to bring up past situations in which you were at fault or faced a shortcoming. The circumstances may have absolutely nothing to do with the current situation that they should be blamed for. Whatever conditions the narcissistic person brings up could be completely irrelevant.
11 – Bringing Up Your Faults
A narcissist might also try to dodge the blame by talking about the faults of other people. They behave this way to detract away from their shortcomings. Again, the person might bring up things that are utterly irrelevant to the situation to divert away from being blamed.