We’ve all dealt with stubbornness at some point in our lives, but we haven’t all dealt with stubborn partners. You’ll have to take some steps to overcome stubbornness if you have a mate or a spouse who refuses to communicate, refuses to compromise or refuses to give up a bad habit or practice. These are some tips for dealing with an obstinate partner in a relationship.

1. First Order of Business: Breathe

The first thing you need to do is make sure that you don’t let this situation stress you out. Take about 10 deep breaths before you approach the lingering problem of that has been plaguing your relationship. It may take a while for you two to find common ground. Getting angry is not going to help, so you’ll want to avoid that by destressing beforehand.

2. Explain Yourself

A lot of stubbornness issues arise because one of the parties doesn’t fully understand the other party’s stance. If you can find a good way to explain your stance in terms that your partner will understand, you may have an easier time with things.

3. Try to Understand His or Her Side

Empathy is a wonderful quality to have, and it can help you to overcome stubbornness in a relationship. It’s the ability to understand how the other person feels in a situation, but you have to listen to that person speak to understand. Sit down with your mate to talk about the issue. Allow him or her to tell you why he or she holds that stance. Try to understand why your mate feels that way and then allow yourself to find an appropriate resolution for the challenging parts.

4. Attempt to Compromise

Many issues will rectify themselves if both stubborn parties compromise. No matter what the issue is, you can both talk to each other and then try to come up with a compromise that fits for everyone. For example, you can alternate holidays if you can’t decide on whose parents’ house you take them to on the next vacation.

5. Time Out From Arguments

Take a time out if you feel like your blood pressures are elevating. Getting angry and fighting is never going to solve anything. It’s just going to compound the original issue. It doesn’t matter which one of you initiates the time-out period, but one of you has to be the rational person and suggest it. Separate yourself for at least 15 minutes. That’s plenty of time to cool off. You can try to start your process again once you’re both “cool” again.

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6. Discuss It Debate Style

You can use a diplomatic approach to the matter as a remedy for the stubbornness. The two of you can go back and forth like two politicians and discuss why each of you has the best solution to the problem. That may end the stalemate and actually bring forth some meaningful conversation about the subject. If you can find a way to communicate, you can also find a way to work out your differences and stop being stubborn. Try it. Give each other two minutes at a time to talk with no interruptions. You may be surprised by the outcome of things.

7. Express Your Love

When you are going through a period of stubbornness, it’s important to express your love toward one another. Let your mate know that no matter how this problem ends up, you will still love him or her and keep being with that person. That should be easy for you to do unless the main subject is dealbreaker material. In that case, you can express your love without necessarily promising to stay. Either way, you have to let the other person know that you value the input and respect it.

8. Approach It at the Right Time

Finally, you have to make sure that you pick the right time to approach this matter. You don’t want to go ahead and try to discuss a tough issue when your mate is busy doing work or preoccupied with taking care of the kids or engulfed in schoolwork. Pick a time when you are both well-fed, relaxed and ready to let some new ideas float around in your heads. Go to a quiet place that has no distractions and talk about the issue. You’ll find a happy medium somewhere in there. You just have to be patient.

The list of stubbornness combat methods is not an exhaustive list of suggestions. Many more techniques are available. You’ll think of some of them yourself, and you’ll discover more along the way. Just keep working on your methods, and you’ll get your partner where you want him or her to be eventually.