When people fall in love, all caution tends to be thrown out the window. The idea that you might have found the love of your life makes you willing to do anything for that person. Whatever they need or whatever they ask you, youâd do it. Or, on the contrary, you might be way too cautious about falling in love. You might be trying to shield your heart and stay away for anyone who could be a potential new relationship.
Love is one of the trickiest things to handle in life. There’s no way to master love. No matter how cautious you try to be, you will make mistakes. But, when it comes to falling for someone new, people seem to make even more mistakes than usual. Not only that, but we tend to make the same mistakes repeatedly.
Starting a new relationship and finding new love can be immensely fulfilling. But you also need to know how to build that relationship if you want to ensure you donât get hurt. So, here are three of the most common mistakes people make when they fall in love.
3 Mistakes People Make When They Fall in Love
Keep reading to know what they are and how to avoid those errors.
1.     They Donât Know How to Manage Trust
Managing any interpersonal relationship is complex. When that relationship is romantic, it becomes even more complex. And thatâs mostly because people donât know how to manage their trust. Sometimes people trust too much. Other times, they trust too little or donât trust at all. If you donât find a way to manage your trust, you wonât have a good base for a new relationship.
When people have trust issues, thatâs probably because they have gone through some traumatic events in the past. If your exes were abusive, lied, and cheated on you, itâs normal to have some issues trusting again. But these trust issues can also come from childhood trauma. People whose parents didnât communicate and were strict will also struggle to trust. People dealing with mental health issues, like depression and anxiety, can also struggle with having trust issues.
Understandably, youâd want to get to know someone properly before trusting them. But having unresolved trust issues doesnât help you or your partner. If you have trust issues, you are probably afraid to let people in and create intimacy. Your mistrust could interfere with the relationship, as youâll likely project your insecurities on your partner. You might have baseless suspicions that you allow to blow up into full-on arguments.
A romantic partner should be there to help you work through your issues, but they arenât responsible for putting up with your trust issues. If you donât fix them, youâll drive your partner away. Sometimes, the problem isnât that you trust too little. Is that you trust too much. Some people are naturally more susceptible, and that can be a detriment. Whenever you look for a new relationship, you need to be a little cautious.
Even if a potential partner seems like the most fantastic person alive, that might not happen. But when people fall in love, they can be blinded and overlook critical signs. Remember that it takes time to get to know someone. Just because you like a person, it doesnât mean you should give them all your trust.
Trusting someone too much can bite you because you wonât be ready for a potential betrayal. That said, itâs not like you shouldnât trust people. You need to be patient and make sure you know someone before giving them all your trust. You need to learn that people need to earn your trust. Of course, you might assume someone might betray you because youâll be prepared for the worst. And, you can give them more of your trust whenever they do something to prove their worth.
2.     They Donât Know How to Enforce Boundaries in a New Relationship
Boundaries are potentially the most important thing you can have in a relationship. No matter how well you think you get along with someone, things will always make you uncomfortable. Just as we have rules in society to ensure no one gets hurt, we can have some rules in relationships. Some people believe that boundaries force relationships, but thatâs not true.
Learning to enforce boundaries can deepen your connection with your partner. It also creates a safe communication environment and lets others know your feelings. When people fall in love, things like boundaries are the last thing on their minds. When you feel blissful and things flow, you probably donât feel the need to have a stern talk about rules. And thatâs fine in the first few weeks of the relationship. But, if you never discuss boundaries, your relationship could be at risk.
Some people associate the need for boundaries with toxic relationships. But you donât need to be harmful to make a mistake and unintentionally hurt someone. And thatâs precisely what limitations aim to avoid. Imagine that your partnerâs love language is physical touch, but you have an issue with being constantly touched. Maybe you donât like it or have some trauma associated with being touched. If you donât communicate and donât specifically ask your partner not to do that, thereâs no way for them to know they need to stop.
So, they might continue touching you, which can create problems in the future. This issue could build over time and blow up into a big fight. Or imagine your partner is a big spender, but you are more of a money saver. In that case, how much you spend and why will need to be discussed, especially if the relationship becomes serious. If you have hopes of building a life with that person, you need to talk about what each of you needs and how to respect that.
All you need to do to create healthy boundaries is talk about your needs and wants in a relationship. Talk about your values and share how you view life. Talk about what you can compromise on and whatâs a definite deal-breaker. As long as you are being open and honest with each other, you should have no problem enforcing good boundaries. And, if you see that your partner isnât available to this idea, thatâs a sign you might be wasting your time.
3.     They Ignore the Red Flags When They Fall in Love With an Unsuitable Person
When someone falls in love, they donât just fall in love with a person. They fall in love with the idea of a person, with what that person could be. People do this because they hope to find love like the one described in the stories. But that makes it so we ignore many red flags that should be deal-breakers. In other words, love can make people blind, and that can be dangerous. We ignore the red flags because we risk ending up in toxic and abusive situations that can make our lives a living hell.
When you first meet someone, chances are they will only show you their best parts. On a first date, no one will tell you about their negative attributes. They wonât yell at you or insult you in any way. But that doesnât mean that the signs arenât there. Maybe they are being sweet towards you, but they are being mean to others. Thatâs something that people accept too often, sometimes even idealize.
This whole idea of âtheyâre being nice to me and no one else because they love meâ can be our downfall. When you start falling for someone, that doesnât mean you should excuse all their actions. You need to keep your eyes open and mentally note all the destructive behaviors they display. Even better, you need to hold them accountable. If you are scared of starting a fight, that should tell you the relationship is not what it should be. You should never be afraid of talking openly to your partner about things that bother you.
Your relationship is healthy if your partner is open to discussion and takes responsibility for their action. No one is perfect, and people can always learn and grow. But you always need to have these healthy conversations. Otherwise, youâll end up suffering. Whatâs more important is talking to other people about your relationship. Contrary to popular belief, you donât need to solve all your problems alone. Your friends and family can offer you a more objective perspective, and you should always value their advice.
![fall in love](https://dev.powerofpositivity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/supportive-partner-or-no-at-all.jpg)
Final Thoughts on Mistakes People Make When They Fall in Love
Falling in love can be the most beautiful experience someone can go through. But love and relationships are serious things that can entirely change your life. A robust and healthy relationship can fill your life with joy. But a toxic, unstable relationship can even destroy your life. So, no matter how much you want to fall in love, you should always be cautious about who you allow into your life.
When people fall in love, they feel so euphoric that they tend to throw caution out the window. Plus, relationships are complex, and thereâs no guideline as to how to go about building one in the right way. Because of that, people tend to make many mistakes when starting a new relationship. But the good thing is that all these mistakes are avoidable if you are a little careful.
People often have trouble knowing how to manage their trust. Sometimes they trust too much, and sometimes, too little. Besides, they find it hard to communicate and enforce boundaries early in the relationship. These issues can be solved by simply communicating with your partner and letting them earn your trust. But potentially, the most significant mistake people make is ignoring red flags. Try to stay rational through all the emotions. And donât get your hopes up too much. Let the other person prove they deserve you before diving head-first into anything.