First dates are never easy. And they’ve become increasingly more difficult in the last couple of decades. Even though having a first date is always exciting, it can be the scariest thing you can go through when trying to meet new people. This date can potentially change your life, but it’s not guaranteed to change it for the better. You might flirt and part ways. Or you could meet the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. You might even meet someone who will make your life extremely miserable.
So, you need to pay a lot of attention to how your first date goes. Even if you think that just one date won’t be that important in the grand scheme of things, it holds a lot of weight.
It’s not just something that decides if you’ll see that person again. Instead, it helps you identify potential red flags and see how you mesh with that person. A few things show a successful first date, but not everyone knows them. That’s not to say that you are shallow if you want to be with someone good-looking because physical attraction is essential.
But many other factors point towards a successful first date besides physical attributes. And it’s essential to learn how to spot them to make sure you can assess if it’s a good idea to see that person again.
7 Signs of a Successful First Date
1. You Can Be Yourself Around That Person
Not all first dates are created equally, in that sometimes you go out with someone you’ve known for a while, and other times it’s with a stranger. Whether you know that person before dating them plays an important role. It determines how weird things are between you and how easily things flow.
But, no matter how well you know each other, you must ensure that you can be yourself around that person. Some people click from the moment they meet. For others, it takes time to get over the weirdness of sitting at a table with someone you’ve just met. But what you need to look for in a person you’re going on a first date with is their ability to make you feel comfortable enough to open up.
That doesn’t mean you must tell them all your stories from the first date. But if you feel you need to change yourself for that person to like you, that’s a red flag. You don’t need to hide your quirks or the things that make you unique. And if your partner gives you the confidence to be yourself, that’s a sign there’s potential for more.
2. They Flirt with You
Flirting is very important in all relationships. It’s not just a tactic to be used to pick up someone. Even couples who have been together for decades should still keep things fun and flirtatious. If your date flirts with you, that’s a sign they are attracted to you and are interested in the date going well. It’s a way of letting the other person know you are engaged in the date and want things to progress.
Some people are better at flirting than others. It’s such an intricate behavior that people have even written books about it, and there are seminars dedicated to teaching people how to flirt. But some part of it comes naturally. For example, if your date is smiling a lot, leans towards you, tries to be close to you, and maintains eye contact, those are all signs that the date is going well.
3. They Are Respectful
Most people have had a first date with someone who acted like a complete buffoon and was rude and disrespectful throughout the whole date. And that was probably enough to make you run away. But not all people show that they don’t respect you so blatantly. It’s not always about how mean they are.
Sometimes, a red flag can be if they don’t make an effort to be respectful and are just indifferent. But, on the other hand, when a date is attentive and respectful, it shows that they want the date to be the beginning of something serious. That it’s not just about trying to get you to sleep with them and are interested in getting to know you.
But a successful first date is one in which both of you are respectful. Even if the other person is very nice, if you don’t make an effort to respect them, it shows that you are not ready for something serious. If the date goes well, you will be attentive and ensure that the other person has just as good of a time as you.
4. You’re Both Present
In the age of technology, it’s not uncommon for people to be virtually glued to their screens. Even if that’s not a distraction, something else can catch your date’s attention. And, if that happens, that’s a sign the date is going south. A first date is your first opportunity to understand how you bond with the other person.
So, if either of you is doing something other than completely focused, then something’s wrong with the date. For starters, people might allow themselves to get distracted because they are just not interested. If your date is distracted, that’s a clear sign that they’re not interested in you or find something more engaging. If they check their phone every five minutes, they might wait for a call to get them out of date.
Or maybe they are waiting for someone they find more interesting to text. Or they might be distracted because they don’t regard your feelings. And the same things apply to you if you are constantly distracted. A successful first date is one in which you can ignore distractions and focus on each other.
5. You Make Each Other Laugh
Sure, first dates aren’t just about finding someone to spend your whole life with. Maybe you just want to date casually and are not looking to settle down yet. Still, finding someone you can laugh with is essential regardless of the type of relationship you are looking for.
Humor is considered to be one of the cornerstones of a good relationship. And your types of humor must mesh together well. Everyone is funny in their own way. You have to find someone who understands your humor and you understand theirs. And studies have even shown that laughter is a way to flirt–it does bring people together.
6. You Lose Track of Time
Everyone knows that horrible feeling of checking the clock every five minutes to see when it’s acceptable for you to leave. No one wants to be stuck at a table with someone they’ve just met, who they don’t click with, for hours on end. But a sign of a successful first date is when you lose track of time and feel like you don’t even want the date to end.
A first date should make you feel giddy and excited. And things should easily flow. Sure, there are bound to be some weird moments. But, as long as the good ones overshadow them, that’s a sign that things are going well. If you don’t even look at your phone through the date, or you feel like time flew by, that shows what a great connection you two have.
7. You Listen to Each Other
A first date is the first real opportunity you two have to get to know each other. Even if you’re on a date with someone you’ve known for a while, it’s still the first time you’ll be together in a romantic setting. So, you’re bound to have different conversations than you would normally.
Plus, being able to listen to each other is a sign of respect. It shows that you are more interested in the other person than you like to hear your voice. You’ve probably dated someone who talks non-stop and interrupts you when speaking. And you know that’s the worst kind of person you can date.
But, when you can have real conversations as early as the first date, that shows you mesh well together. You know you’ll have enough time to speak and share all your stories on future dates, so you also allow the other person to speak. Not to mention that this behavior is vital in serious relationships. If you can’t listen to each other, you won’t be able to solve any issues that might arise.
Final Thoughts on Some Signs of a Successful First Date
First dates can be nerve-wracking regardless of who you’re about to meet or how experienced you are regarding dating. And they can also be risky if you don’t assess them right. You might meet the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life. Or you might meet someone who will destroy your life and wreck your heart.
So, you need to make sure that you watch out for the red flags and focus on the aspects that make a date successful. It’s important to feel comfortable being yourself around that person and like you can open up. Being able to laugh and flirt with them is always a green flag, showing that you can keep the relationship light and fun. But obviously, you need to be able to have serious conversations and listen to each other.
If one or both of you are distracted and seem like you are doing anything other than paying attention to your date, that means the date is going south. One of the most important aspects is finding someone who respects you and can make you feel like time is flying. The most successful first date is the one you never want to end.
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