You should never accept certain behaviors in your relationships, no matter if they’re romantic, platonic, or familial in nature. Many people tolerate abuse or other toxic behaviors in relationships simply because they fear being alone or don’t have a lot of self-worth. However, getting into unhealthy relationships only deepens this sense of insecurity and prevents you from finding a positive partner.
No matter how lonely you feel, you should never keep a relationship in your life that makes you unhappy. You will be better off in the long run being alone than accepting someone who treats you poorly. Look out for the following things that you should never tolerate in a relationship so you can wait for the person who deserves you.
Here are 11 things to never put up with in a relationship:
1. Controlling behavior
Partners who attempt to control their significant other in a relationship have serious self-esteem issues. Often, they feel that they can’t leave their partner out of their sight. They must know their whereabouts, who they’re talking to, and what their plans are at all times. This type of behavior should never be tolerated.
According to Psychology Today, controlling people have a lot of techniques up their sleeves to dominate their partners, and oftentimes, people don’t realize what’s happening until they’re deeply entrenched in the relationship. Even if this behavior doesn’t lead to more severe forms of abuse, it’s still a sign of a toxic relationship that no one should be a part of.
2. Breaking your trust
This one seems like a no-brainer, but we feel the need to reiterate it. Too many people stay in a relationship where they feel they can’t trust their partner, which means the relationship will never move forward. You can’t have a relationship without trust, because that’s one of the key elements a relationship needs to thrive. If your partner does anything to make themselves untrustworthy, it’s best to leave the relationship behind because it will only lead to heartache.
3. Codependency
While a relationship does mean taking care of your partner from time to time and being there for them, there’s a fine line between support and care-taking. You should never feel like you have to babysit your partner and their emotions or watch over them like a child. If your partner can’t live an independent life and show that they can take on adult responsibilities, then perhaps it’s time to move on. Partners should be equals in a relationship and no one should feel like they have to do everything for their partner.
4. A negative attitude
Of course everyone has good and bad days, but a constant negative outlook on life will only bring you down. Your partner should inspire you and lift you up, not drag you down. In a relationship, it takes motivation and determination to make it succeed; otherwise, both of you will remain stagnant and complacent. Never accept a partner who doesn’t want the best possible life for themselves, because they won’t be able to provide what you need, either.
5. Emotionally unavailable
A romantic partnership involves being emotionally vulnerable; after all, who else can you share your deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts with? If you can’t feel comfortable sharing what’s on your mind with your partner, then they probably aren’t ready for the same type of relationship as you. You should be able to talk about anything with your significant other; if you can’t, the relationship will not bring you security or happiness.
6. Not listening to you
Anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you that communication is one of the keys to making it succeed. Without clear communication, couples can start to lose their bond and seek outside relationships for emotional support. Relationships do take a lot of effort, but it’s worth it to keep the love alive. If your partner doesn’t seem interested in what you have to say and doesn’t want to open up to you, they will not make a good partner for the long haul. No one should tolerate this type of disrespect in a relationship.
7. Lack of support
If your partner can’t support your goals and constantly second-guesses your abilities, why should they get a place in your life? Never tolerate someone who doesn’t have your best interests in mind and doesn’t believe in you, because they will only drag you down. A partner should be your number one cheerleader in life and make you feel good about yourself and your dreams!
8. Not taking responsibilities seriously
Unfortunately, part of growing up and being in a stable relationship involves paying the bills and keeping a steady job. If your partner can’t do this, then perhaps they aren’t ready for a serious relationship. You should never tolerate a partner who doesn’t want to pay their share of the bills and who just wants a free ride. It takes two people to make a relationship work, so don’t ever settle for someone who only takes and never gives.
9. Constant arguing
If your partner nitpicks every little thing and makes a mountain out of a molehill, it will only add stress to your life. Never put up with a partner who makes every interaction a negative one. Even if you practice positive thinking, a negative partner will only hinder your efforts.
10. Mental or physical abuse
This should go without saying, but you should never tolerate abuse in a relationship. This is the deepest form of disrespect and is absolutely unacceptable in any type of relationship.
11. Making you feel ordinary
Your partner should make you feel like the most amazing man or woman on the planet. Of course, they may not tell you or show you every day, but if they can’t even buy you dinner or take you out on a date once every week or two, or show you they care in some way, then you deserve better. A relationship should make you feel wanted and cared for, not neglected and depressed.
Final thoughts
A relationship should make you feel better about yourself and life, not worse. If you feel negatively in your relationship the majority of the time, we hope this article will encourage you to reevaluate it and hopefully make a decision that you can feel good about.
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