Do you have a self-absorbed person in your life? It can be a friend, a loved one, or a love interest. Assume you just met this wonderful woman and started dating.
You’ve noticed that she spends plenty of your conversations talking about herself and all the things she’s accomplished. Every time she enters a venue, she gazes around to see who is checking her out. She’s just waiting for someone to admire her looks.
Perhaps, you’ve met a man that seems to be a real charmer. The only problem is that every time you try to talk to him about your life and issues, the conversation always gets turned back to him. You long for someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on, but he is so self-absorbed that he can’t even consider your feelings.
Many people feel that they’re interrupting a theater production when they are around someone who is self-absorbed. They feel like they’re the supporting cast to the main character, which is one difficult show.
Understanding A Self-Absorbed Person
While this person wants plenty of praise and attention, they can’t see beyond themselves to give you those things in return. They’re so consumed with themselves that they hardly notice anyone else.
It’s not that they don’t listen to you, but it’s that they don’t know-how. These individuals lack empathy, but they crave attention so much that it becomes the basis for their self-esteem. Sadly, their actions make you feel unimportant.
Most people overlook these behaviors initially, but as time goes on, you notice that they’re not as attractive or fun to be around as they once were. Some experts even classify the self-absorb as a narcissist in the making, and this journey is one you don’t want to take as it brings nothing but pain and heartache.
Twelve Behaviors of the Self-Centered Person
If you’re with a man or woman who you feel might be a bit too self-centered, you may be looking for clues as you feel something is off. Do they have high self-esteem with great confidence, or are they a narcissist? Here are the most common behaviors of the self-absorbed person.
1. Always Taking Selfies
Sure, selfies have become commonplace in today’s world, but this person carries it to the extreme. No matter where you go, they always see it as an occasion to take a picture of themselves.
It’s not even the pictures that bother you as much as the way they go about it. They think that the whole world wants to see every move they make.
2. Listening Is An Issue
It seems that this person isn’t good at listening to others. You can talk to them for an hour and feel like you barely get a word in the conversation. Whenever you start a conversation that discusses your needs, you’re always interrupted by a tale of their accomplishments, or perhaps they try to one-up you and share how their needs are even more important.
3. Interrupting Others
Not only is this person a terrible listener, but they will also interrupt others when they’re speaking. They feel that what they have to say is much more important than the other person. So, they will cut people off to interject their opinions.
4. One-Sided Relationships
The selfish person will expect you to drop whatever you’re doing and come running to them in their time of need. However, don’t expect the same in return. They want people to cater to them when the world is crashing all around, but they will be too busy when it’s your turn for a shoulder to cry on.
5. Everything is a Big Deal
To the self-centered person, everything in their world is a massive ordeal. Even having a bad day is cause for drinks that night. They thrive on drama, and if there isn’t any going on, they will create some just for attention.
6. Lying Comes Easy
A self-centered person needs to be glamourous and more influential than the rest. So, this person is not above lying to give the appearance that they’re more wonderful. They will inflate job titles, people they’re friends with, and the amount of money they have.
7. The Inner Circle Is Carefully Chosen
Remember, a selfish person is very manipulative. They choose their friends based on what their friends can do for them. They will select people who are up and coming in the world or get them where they want to be.
Each person they allow into their inner circle is handpicked to further their agenda. No, this person doesn’t like you, but they want what you can do for them. If you notice these traits, then you need to run away from them quickly.
8. Family Business is Off Limits
One bizarre thing you may notice about this person is that they won’t discuss their family with you. You may have known them for months or even years, and they won’t say one thing about their relatives.
When you observe the avoidance of family, it’s often caused by poor relationships. While they may not have any family still living, the chances are that their family doesn’t associate with them because of how they act. It’s always a red flag when a guy or girl won’t allow you to meet at least one member of their family.
9. Lot of Rules
The self-absorbed person will often have a lot of rules for you to follow. They’re very particular about where they will shop, eat, and who they will be seen with. They may require that dinner is at 5 o’clock shark every night, and they may require that you only wear a specific color in public.
The real issue is that the self-centered person is very controlling. They try to monopolize your life, and they feel better about themselves when you listen to their demands.
10. Gaslighting
If this person feels that you’re onto their games or that you have discovered a lie, then they have no problem turning the tables on you. See, their esteem doesn’t allow them to be anything other than perfect, so if you try to call them out on an error, then they will turn it back on you.
Being in a relationship with this person can be downright torture as they can twist facts and have you believing things you know are not right. Gaslighting is dangerous, and it can have serious implications for your mental wellbeing.
11. No Empathy
Assume that you just lost your job, and you don’t know how you’re going to make it. You would expect that your boyfriend or girlfriend would be compassionate about the situation. However, to your shock and amazement, they don’t even seem to care.
They quickly brush off your feelings of loss and move the topic back to themselves. When they have a crisis, they expect the world to stop. However, they have no empathy for you and your problems, and you’re lucky if you even see any signs of sympathy either.
12. Very Opinionated
This person is usually very opinionated, and they cannot even open their mind long enough to see anyone else’s point of view. They will push their beliefs and morals on you, as they feel it’s the only viewpoint to have about the matter.
They don’t care what anyone else feels or believes, as their opinion is the only one that counts.
Final Thoughts on the Self-Absorbed Person
The problem with self-centered people is that they cannot see the big picture. Their world is exceedingly small and only consists of their needs and desires. These are very imposing individuals who use words like “must” in everyday conversation.
If you would peel back all the layers of this complex personality, you will find many hurts. Becoming self-absorbed usually happens when people have been so hurt in life that they feel they must stick up for themselves. What you see is a very selfish, manipulative, and controlling person, but what’s on the inside might shock you.
These larger-than-life personalities are often camouflaging a bruised self-esteem and a low ego. They don’t tell you that they may have witnessed trauma or could be the victim of some abuse. If they grew up in a home where one or both parents had substance abuse issues, they likely suffered from neglect.
A way for them to cope with the things that happened to them is to repair their feelings of self-worth. This coping mechanism they’ve developed is what’s keeping them from a total meltdown. It’s hard to repair the damage done by time and incident, but it can be done.
Before you get too involved in a relationship like this, you need to know the amount of attention and work required. Can true love fix everything? No; however, many self-centered people can deal with their issues and make changes before developing a narcissistic personality disorder.
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