“I loved being in groups of people and sought acceptance, but I did not like talking or being the center of attention. I was very introspective, but I loved to share my thoughts with other people.” ~ A Shy Extrovert
What Is an Extrovert?
According to Isabel Briggs-Myers, founder of the widely-used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), “Extraverts orient their energy to the outer world.” In other words, extroverts recharge their energy by interacting with people, going places, and doing things. By contrast, introverts renew their reserves through solitude. While extroverts tend to be sociable or outgoing â and introvert shy or withdrawn â this is not always the case.
It is essential to understand that introversion and extroversion affect how one increases their energy. Extroverts gain their energy by being âout and about.â This doesnât necessarily mean that they are social butterflies, however.
Shy extroverts are a rare breed. They also tend to be highly conscientious, intelligent, diplomatic, and friendly!
Are you a shy extrovert?
Here Are Nine Signs That Reveal a Shy Extrovert
1. Youâre outgoing but not a big talker
Unlike other extroverts, the shy variety doesnât mind some peace and quiet. While an âoutgoing extrovertâ (âO.Eâ) may feel the need to keep the convo flowing, their shy counterpart doesnât. The shy extrovert (âS.Eâ) feels no discomfort if a conversation isnât flowing, while this delay may just drive O.E nuts.
2. Youâre a better listener than most extroverts
S.Eâs are very interested in those around them and what they have to say â something that enables them to listen attentively. Additionally, the shy person understands the frustrations of not being heard and tries hard to let the person know that theyâre listening to their words. “Sorry, O.E’s, but your eyes dart around way too muâ” âŚAnd now you’re walking away.
3. You dislike small parties
S.Eâs are observers in every sense of the word. They love being where the action is, but they’d rather people watch, satisfied knowing theyâre “part of things.” The shy aspect of their personality renders them uncomfortable at smaller, quieter gatherings where people are more likely to engage in personal talk.
4. You love deep conversation
O.Eâs have the âgift of gabâ that allows them to connect with darn near everybody. Itâs an exceptional talent that helps explain why theyâre among the most gifted politicians, executives, and salespeople. The shy ones often donât fit this bill. S.Eâs take a page out of the introvert playbook in that they detest small talk. (âPlease donât comment about the weatherâŚâ)
5. You want to be aloneâŚuntil you donât
Shy extroverts can play the introvert exceptionally wellâŚfor a little while. If theyâve had a long week, the SE may just lock themselves in their bedroom for few hours. Actually, a few may be a bit too long. Two (and a half?) hours are a bit more like it. Then theyâve got to get the hell out of there.
6. You detest being C.O.A.
Ah, the Center of Attention â something that our outgoing extroverts relish. By the way, this is a good thing. While introverted folks are kind and loving, they’re typically quite terrible at entertaining a crowd. Anyways, S.Eâs play part-time introvert in this respect too. Straight-up wallflowers, baby!
7. Youâre an introvertâs party buddy
Extroverts love parties. Introverts do, too, albeit for a (much) shorter period. Innies are also prone to feeling all types of awkwardness, which creates a dilemma. Theyâd hang out with other innies, but theyâd already left. Theyâve already said âheyâŚâ to the loud people and â oh, there you are!
8. Youâre a great confidant
Shy extroverts have great empathy. They love listening to other people and, as mentioned, donât need to be at the center of attention. That means that people (introverts included) confide in them. When engaging in an authentic, deep conversation, nobody may be more up to the task than our shy extroverts.
9. Youâre the perfect friend
Regarding personality traits, you’re about as perfect an in-betweener as it gets. While there are plenty of smart extroverts to hang with, you may not feel like keeping up with the conversation. No problem, your innie friend wants to talk about a book she hasnât finished. An hour later, your O.E. buddy comes along and wants to do a jello shot and go work out. Wait, what?
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