You’re head over heels for your partner, but you’re not so sure they feel the same way. Unrequited love is one of the most challenging situations to face. Thankfully, you may be able to save yourself some heartache by seeing the signs that someone is stringing you along and doesn’t have genuine feelings.
Fourteen Common Signs Your Partner Is Stringing You Along
Some red flags are hard to ignore, but other times you might have to analyze a situation to see if someone is playing you. Here are 14 indications that maybe you’re more into them than they are into you.
1. A Person Stringing You Along Prefers to Text or Instant Message Than See You in Person
While the world tends to be more anti-social and use texting and instant messenger for communication, it shouldn’t be that way when you’re dating. If you feel that your partner always wants to text and rarely wants to see you face-to-face, it’s a sign that maybe they don’t have the best intentions.
Someone who isn’t that into you or has another lover may use text messaging to communicate because it’s safe. Demand to see them in person, and if they have an issue with that personal contact, send them packing.
2. You Go for Days or Sometimes Weeks Without Hearing From Them
One of the most annoying things is sending a text or leaving a voicemail and getting no return call. Sure, they’re busy like everyone else, but if you were high on their list, they would make time to call you back. People make all sorts of excuses.
The truth of the matter is that people make time for the most important things to them. So, if you had a top spot in their heart, they would call or text you back quickly. Don’t let them play you.
3. You Get No Formal Commitment From Someone Stringing You Along
Commitment phobias are a common issue. It could be that your partner saw their parents go through a challenging divorce, or they may have other problems that make them afraid of taking the plunge. However, if you’re pushing for a commitment and they’re pushing against it, it’s a red flag.
You want someone who will gladly commit to you and wants to show you off to the world. If they’re going to avoid this issue and get huffy when you discuss it, then they’re hiding something.
4. You Make All the Initial Contact
You want someone who goes out of their way to contact you. If you’re the one making all the calls, plans, sending text messages, then it sounds like it’s a one-way street. Let them come to you and stop trying, and you will see how far things go.
5. You’re Always Left Hanging When Someone’s Stringing You Along
They finally make plans with you, but they show up late. Sometimes, they don’t show up at all. It’s not polite to make someone wait for 1-2 hours when you’re supposed to be there. This is very much an indication of a narcissist who uses people for their benefit, and if they get a better offer, they will forget all about you.
6. They’re More Interested in a Physical Relationship Than Anything Else
The only time you see this person is when they want to hit the sheets. Relationships are about more than just physical interaction, though it’s essential. You want someone who will spend the evening on the porch swing hearing about all your hopes and dreams, not just someone interested in intimate acts.
7. They Don’t Want To Meet Your Family or Friends
One of the first things you want to do when you meet someone you love is to bring them home to show your parents. Additionally, you want them to meet all your family and friends too. If this person doesn’t want to meet the folks closest to you, then it’s a sign they’re stringing you along.
Some individuals are shy and may want to make sure the relationship is headed in the right direction before making such a step. However, if the general feeling is that they don’t want to meet the people in your inner circle, it’s a red flag.
8. Compliments Are Dismissed
Do they brush off the compliments or embrace them? If you tell them how nice they smell or how wonderful they look, how do they react? If they don’t want you getting too close, then they won’t embrace these accolades.
Rather, they will keep you at arm’s length distance so that you don’t fall for them. If they’re using you, the last thing they want from you is to fall hard and fast for them. It’s harder to break free when there are strings attached.
9. They Refuse To-Plan Anything in Advance
Do you get the old excuse that they’re just too busy, or they may not know what they’re doing in a couple of weeks? These are classic excuses that people use when they aren’t that into you. If someone in love with you wanted to plan future dates, you would clear your schedule for this person.
Avoiding long-term activities means they have no intentions of being around for the long haul or have many people they’re dating and don’t want to overbook. Beware when they don’t make plans with you.
10. They Get Serious if You Want To Move On
Have you ever heard the old saying that someone doesn’t want a person until someone else does? If you get tired of their drama and want to move on, they may all of a sudden start to show interest.
While they may be stringing you along, they don’t want someone else stepping on their territory. Please don’t fall for this old trick because they will be back to their old ways as soon as they find someone else.
11. A Person Who Is Stringing You Along Is Always Too Busy for You
It’s challenging when you get brushed off time and again. According to the Bolde dating & relationship platform, you need to drop them like your worst habit. Don’t cancel your plans for exciting things just because they don’t show up. Find someone else who will be eager to go with you.
12. You’re the One Giving All the Time, Thought, and Energy Into the Relationship
It’s never fun to be in a one-sided relationship. When you’re the one doing all the planning, trying to contact them, and putting all your energy into a sinking ship, it’s very draining. The truth is that there is someone out there who wants to do all those things for you, and you’re wasting your time on someone who is doing nothing but stringing you along.
It all comes down to self-worth. Do you love and respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better, more than what this person can offer? According to PsychAlive, your worth and esteem are all tied together in one little package. Dr. Lisa Firestone wrote the article that has some fascinating facts to consider about your value and significance.
Many times, people who’ve been in horrible relationships before and have low esteem will settle for less. Your value as a human being is worth more than someone playing games with your heart and mind.
13. There’s No Talk of the Future
When you’ve met someone you think is marriage quality, you automatically start talking about plans. Where you want to live, raise a family, and your goals as a couple. If your person keeps the conversation more about the here and now, it’s likely, they’re not considering anything past the next couple of weeks with you.
14. There Are Too Many Past Situations
The best predictor of the future is to look to the past. If they don’t like to talk about all the bad relationships, it’s a sign that something isn’t quite right. They may have a reputation as a player, and the past is something you can’t just brush under the rug.
If they won’t commit to you and the communication is poor, it could be that their past is the key to understanding what’s really going on.
Final Thoughts on Dealing With Someone Stringing You Along
It’s no fun to be with someone who doesn’t value your relationship and they don’t want to make any real commitments to you. If you’re looking for an occasional date, this behavior is acceptable. However, when you want more than your partner is willing to give, you need to value yourself more.
You have wants and needs that should be fulfilled, and you don’t have to settle for the option that doesn’t check most of the boxes. It would be best to run the other way when you start to see any of these 14 red flags listed above. You may be dealing with a selfish, toxic, and narcissistic person who will never be what you need them to be.
When someone is stringing you along, the sad thing is you don’t know how many others are doing the same thing too. You deserve to be number one in your partner’s eyes.
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