Have you ever wanted how to figure out if your relationship will withstand the test of time? Do you ever wish there could be a way to make sure you are fighting for something good?
All relationships are drastically different from one another, and it could be hard to compare them sometimes. If you don’t have a vantage point, it can become difficult to assess whether the situation is good or not. But that’s the beauty of it all.
Every relationship is unique. Sometimes, you need to have some signs that make you feel sure you’re in for a long time. Fortunately, some signs apply to all relationships that can show you just that. Read on if you want to find out whether your relationship will stand the test of time.
How Does A Strong Relationship Look Like?
People often think of solid relationships as being comprised of two people who are always side-by-side. And that’s just one of the first misconceptions. Having kids, a house with a white picket fence, and looking happy at all times are other signs commonly associated with healthy relationships. But that’s not always the case.
That stereotypical idyllic portrayal doesn’t necessarily point towards a strong relationship. But what does one look like? According to relationship coach Jennifer Howell, a strong relationship is a safe place for all people involved. When you can communicate your wants, needs, and boundaries, you know the connection is stable.
Make sure that, first and foremost, you have a strong relationship. If you want to drag out a toxic relationship, maybe it will last the test of time. But it will only cause you suffering. A toxic relationship will take a toll on your mental and physical health. It can increase anxiety, lead to insomnia, and even impact your heart in a literal sense (increases risk of heart attacks).
As you might well know, you can die from a broken heart. Make sure you have a healthy relationship before you focus on how long it will last. Mary Jo Rapini, a licensed intimacy psychotherapist shares this sentiment.
5 Signs Your Relationship Will Stand The Test Of Time
According to a study from 2019, being in a high-quality romantic relationship is associated with an increased quality of life. That’s precisely why people should be single rather than in an unhealthy relationship. But if you are in a healthy relationship, how can you tell it will last a lifetime?
1. You Are Friends
This first one is a bit of a cliché, but it’s the most common sign. People involved in the most vital relationships are friends before anything romantic ever happens. And, if they can stay friends through everything, they’re in for the long run.
The alternative to a friendship-based relationship is a passion-based relationship. And, while passion is necessary, it doesn’t allow for something to develop and grow through the ages. This idea is consistent with research showing that relationships based on compassion and friendship are more satisfying and last longer.
Passion can fade, and when it does, you are left with a shallow relationship. At the first bump in the road, desire will dissipate, and the relationship will crumble. But, in a friendship-based relationship, even when times are hard, compassion will keep you together. Another study shows that couples who have been married for over 15 years will list friendship and understand why they lasted. They suggested that it is important to like who your partner is to have a meaningful connection.
Make sure you are friends with your partner before you start dating. This way, you will know you are together for something more than looks. A friend is someone who you like spending time with. You share common values, take care of each other and trust each other.
Friendships create strong emotional bonds. All these qualities are essential pillars for romantic relationships as well. If you add passion and intimacy on top of that, you can make sure your relationship will last.
2. You Have Shared Values
Opinions and a difference in desires can be absolute deal-breakers in an excellent relationship. While you can make it work with someone who sees back when you see white, it will be challenging. But if your values and road in life are similar, you will get each other, and everything will be smooth sailing.
All relationships are different, with different people having different needs. But it’s essential to find the one who can fulfill your needs. A person who wants to travel and have a career can’t make it work with someone who wants to live the suburban dream. If at any point you feel like your relationship is like a game of tug-of-war, chances are you won’t pass the test of time.
If you feel like you and your partner are always on the same page, you are meant to be. Therapist Jim Seibold believes that if partners have similar end goals, they’ll be fit to endure any obstacles. This way, you won’t be separated by a difference in desire. When you don’t share values, you have to waste time trying to work through fundamental differences. This doesn’t include small preferences.
It’s only a sign when it comes to core values. Mutual respect and compassion are still necessary no matter what. Don’t think you won’t have to make compromises; you definitely will. But if your core values align, you have a strong foundation to build upon.
3. Fighting Fair Can Help Your Union Withstand the Test of Time
The most enduring relationships are those in which you don’t avoid fights, but you use them to empower your connection. This ability is something most people aren’t aware of. In many people’s heads, an argument is inherently a bad thing. But that’s not always the case.
Strong couples know that fights are inevitable. From the minor things, like someone forgetting to get bread, to big, life altering-events like deciding whether to move. People always have disagreements. That’s just human nature. The question isn’t whether they take place but how they take place.
The couples who have lasted the longest are the ones who understand that conflict should be used to their advantage. Additionally, they know how to conduct themselves in heated situations. Family therapist Winifred Reilly says that a good sign to look out for is that no matter how hard times are, nobody gets nasty. When they don’t pile on unrelated stuff, blame you, and instead they try to get to the bottom of everything, they’re a good one.
In times of struggle, these people will know how to see through the fog and find a way to grow after fights. They learn to give when they need to and take when they need to. Their relationship is based on compromise. Even though they fight, they still look out for each other’s needs. That’s how they can take the fight and get something good out of it. They might learn a lesson they can apply to make the relationship stronger. If you and your partner have this dynamic, your connection will last the test of time.
4. You’ll Pass The Test Of Time if You Bring Out The Best In One Another
Some people might be great apart, but horrible together. Sometimes, when people couple up, they risk bringing out the worst in each other. From kind, happy, understanding people, they might become stressed, snappy, and a pain to be around.
But in other cases, the exact opposite is true. A relationship that will last the test of time is when people bring out the best in each other. The right person for you is the one that inspires you to become better, even when it feels hard. They make you feel like giving up is not an option, that working on personal growth is always important.
This also happens when people accept each other fully. They become their best versions because they feel comfortable in showing who they are. They feel safe enough to be vulnerable, let their partner in, and learn. You don’t feel scared of how they react when you ask for their help, and they will give it to you no matter what. It is a strong relationship based on mutual respect.
5. You Never Stop Dating
The dating phase before you settle into a committed relationship can be the most fun time. But as your relationship develops, some people tend to date less and less proactively. They don’t go on dates anymore, and they don’t surprise each other. But the people who still go out often are in for the long run after tens of years.
These little acts of affection keep your relationship fresh at all times. If you go on a new date, a new adventure, you will never get bored every couple of weeks. Don’t slip into a routine, and don’t be content with comfortability. Remember, romance is essential for a long-lasting bond. If you see that your partner goes out of their way to keep everything exciting, you’ve got something good going.