It’s all too common to hang on to the pain and suffering we experienced in the past. We may pity ourselves and feel dissatisfied with our lives. We may dwell too long on lost loves, lost jobs, or lost friendships. How do we begin to let go and move on from these upsetting experiences?
Some people are so bound up in their past, they can’t let go of the pain. The pain has become part of their personal identity. The pain can even be comforting to some people. When you let go of past hurts and deceptions, you can begin to move forward with intention and peace. Here are ten things you can release from your mind and heart.
How to Let Go of Past Pain and Suffering
1. Give up control.
Many people are “control freaks” and only feel secure in themselves if they can influence how others think and feel. Control is an illusion and you can only hope to control your own feelings and reactions. You can’t change someone else, you can only change how you think and feel. If you can let go of the notion of controlling things and people in your life, you will be a happier person.
2. Stop feeling entitled.
Self-pity when things don’t go our way is a natural feeling, but it’s best to let this feeling go. We are not entitled to success and happiness, we must work our way toward them.
3. Let resentment go.
Resenting others comes at a price to our personal growth. Blaming others for our problems only leads to a hollow sense of self. Rather than resenting others, work toward forgiveness.
4. Don’t let guilt run your life.
It is hard to let go of past pain and suffering caused by guilt. When we spend time ruminating on guilt, we lose the ability to take responsibility for our actions. It is better to make amends and move on.
5. Try to hold back perfectionism.
When we push ourselves to be perfect, we lose sight of what is truly important. Pushing ourselves to an impossible standard only makes us unhappy. It is better to let yourself be “good enough” to get along in life. For example, let go of the idea that your home will always be perfect.
6. Let pride go.
Pride can restrict us from making amends in our relationships. Our ego can get in the way of emotional resolution. Pride can also keep us from admitting we have made a mistake.
7. Release yourself from negative thoughts.
We always have a choice in how we approach a situation. If we expect the worst to happen, it most likely will. If we have a better attitude, we may be able to create better things for ourselves. Negativity attracts negativity.
However, it’s important to allow yourself to feel your negative emotions. If you bottle them up, they will only be worse when they do come out.
8. Let go of bad influences.
Everyone has at least one person in his or her life that is draining to be around. If possible, let these people go from your life. If you have to continue dealing with them, try to distance yourself from their negativity. This is especially hard if the people who are a toxic presence in our lives are close family members.
9. Don’t fear failure.
Don’t restrict yourself from trying something just because you are afraid you will fail. This is a self-defeating measure and keeps you from taking risks and from experiencing all that life has to offer. Take the opportunity to do things that scare you and break out of your comfort zone.
10. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Envying other people’s lives only leads to trouble. We often see only the surface of our friends’ lives, and not the struggles they go through every day. They may be looking at your life in return and envying how easily you get along. If you can be honest with your friends, do so. It will open your eyes.
When you learn how to let go of past problems, your life will seem clearer and easier. Using these ten tips will help you learn how to move on and recreate your life in a more optimistic way. The people and events that have disappointed you will be easier to deal with if you can change the way you look at your life.